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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208330">You're Special</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMsource/pseuds/TheMsource'>TheMsource</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sicko [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Angst, Blood, Creep!Sans - Freeform, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Hurt, Karma - Freeform, Love/Hate, Obsession, Part 4, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Smut, Time to cry...maybe, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, We've reached the breaking point, no one has a good time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:54:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMsource/pseuds/TheMsource</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You began to wonder if he touched you like this still because he wanted to...</p>
<p>Series inspired by KenyaKetchup's Creep</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Frisk/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sicko [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1354105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You're Special</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE ABOUT FRANS RELATED CONTENT OR ANYTHING IMPLYING UNDERAGE LUST<br/>Part 4 - Quite literally the worst</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“i’m sorry.” He apologized.</p>
<p>“i’m sorry.” Again. </p>
<p>“i’m so sorry.” And again.</p>
<p>Even as he ran his hands through your hair, coaxed food and drink into you as you numbly stared into nothing.</p>
<p>Always apologizing.</p>
<p>But what did it matter?</p>
<p>Every time he came back to you, coddled and cared for you, you could still smell it on him.</p>
<p>Sex.</p>
<p>He didn’t even bother to shower before showing up, and as always his empty apologies and pleas for forgiveness fell from his ragged baritone.</p>
<p>You felt sorrow for Frisk, even as you felt overwhelming anger. </p>
<p>He loved her, he’d repeated that the first few times he’d uttered the now soured words he often repeated like a mantra. He also loved you he claimed, and he still came over trying to rouse you, feeding and speaking to you in hushed whispers. </p>
<p>So lovingly…</p>
<p>As if that was enough to make up for how he continued to smell of girlish vanilla, continued to fail you with the way his teeth would taste of long dried saliva, continued to slowly kill you with each embrace still warm from having held another.</p>
<p>You didn’t go to work anymore, didn’t pay bills or eat. </p>
<p>What was the point? You didn’t matter, who’d care in the long run anyway?</p>
<p>Sans though had taken it upon himself to take care of all of that for you. He made sure your rent was paid, the utilities, kept your place well stocked with food and drink even though he barely touched it and you didn’t at all. Hell he even kept everything clean, showed more initiative and mindfulness than you’d ever thought him capable of as he tended to your unvoiced needs and watched for the slightest twitch or movement you’d occasionally give with the critical eye of someone possessing OCD.</p>
<p>It was a kindness you supposed, that he tried so hard without <em>actually trying</em> to be better. He hadn’t left you to suffer alone like he could’ve, been satisfied that he’d gotten the <em>child</em> he’d so often lusted after.  If you hadn’t felt so empty and weighted down you could’ve laughed at the implied irony. Of how he seemed to care more <em>now</em> than he had before.</p>
<p>But a part of him really did love you; it had to, at least in a way he thought love worked.</p>
<p>You let him dress you, bath you, and didn’t stop him when he’d be washing your shoulders only to let his phalanges linger, his eyelights brightening as he’d pull you closer to his ribs and lavish his tongue up the arch of your throat.  You began to wonder if he touched you like this still because he wanted to, slid his cock between your legs and cupped your breasts so feverishly as he cried your name and filthy praises as he sloshed the water around you with his movements to satisfy a passion you still somehow coiled within him. </p>
<p>
  <strike>A passion that still traitorously blended with the numbness under his caresses.</strike>
</p>
<p>Or if he just continued to do so since it was the only way to drag a reaction from the husk you’d turned into, pull your hollowed moans and disgustingly weak gasps to assuage his never ending guilt. In order to convince himself you were still alive despite how he’d broken you. That each sinful noise was a play at redemption and forgiveness, each jolt of pleasure and wanton spark of giddiness you couldn’t ignore a silent plea for trust and respite offered wholeheartedly.</p>
<p>“oh you’re so soft baby.” <strike>As soft as Frisk?</strike></p>
<p>“so beautiful.” <strike>Were you really?</strike></p>
<p>“fuck you make me so weak—“ <strike>…was he still talking about <em>you</em>?</strike></p>
<p>“taking it so well for me~” <strike>The sex or his actions?</strike></p>
<p>“i love you, <em>so much</em>.” </p>
<p>…Sans…</p>
<p>“i’m sorry.” <strike>…</strike></p>
<p>Was this how Frisk had felt? What she had gone through to turn out so twisted? Had you scared her <em>that much</em> that she willingly subjected herself to this again?</p>
<p>Pathetic, you were a pathetic and worthless excuse of a human being; blinded by your desperate love for a beast, your irrational jealousy of a child, and still sickeningly yearning for everything you could but would never have beneath the fog of isolation you’d submerged yourself in. You just wanted to fade, leave the world behind to suffer its own cruelty. But Life wouldn’t even offer you that reprieve.</p>
<p>You still craved the gentleness you imagined seeing in his sockets. The ghost of contentment his arm around your shoulders caused as he pulled you into his side. You just wanted so much more than life had given you…what was actually so little that you asked for…</p>
<p>Somehow you were in bed, freshly dressed and clothed, his hands running achingly tender over you in soothing calmness as he let your head rest in his lap and a deep hum vibrating in his chest with a lullaby you didn’t recognize. You had wanted this once, dreamt of it often, this level of intimacy. It burned you how much it didn’t satisfy in the way you’d so often fantasized. Even as Sans looked beyond happy indulging in the whole thing, something you hadn’t ever been able to picture adequately.</p>
<p>…Were you the only one who had ever wanted this from him?...</p>
<p>You didn’t want to think about it.</p>
<p>Gradually the lids of your eyes grew heavy under his ministrations and alluring melody, your heart still bitterly flipping even as your mind whimpered in protest. It was habitual; you didn’t even realize you were doing it as you nuzzled into his touch, listened as he drew a barely stifled hiss through his teeth and uttered so softly the only words you’d ever wanted to hear from him.</p>
<p>“i love you.”</p>
<p>They felt like tar in your ears as you passed out.</p>
<p>When you woke again you were alone, your eyes unseeing as they slowly slid over to the sound of your creaking bedroom door. You recognized the silhouette right away, how could you not? It was impossible for you to ever mistake Frisk’s shadow for another. </p>
<p>Maybe once, but never again.</p>
<p>You let your eyes slide shut, begging for darkness’s cold relief as you heard her muffled footsteps approach. You wanted nothing more than for this to be another bad dream, a broken hearted fever swelling in your mind. The thought of her coming to see you, that had once been so comforting and pleasant to think about, was now nothing but a dull and rusted pain beyond description the closer her footsteps drew.</p>
<p>Why? She’d won, Sans was hers, you weren’t in the way anymore. </p>
<p>Couldn’t they all just leave you to rot?</p>
<p>“Y/n?” </p>
<p>Her voice was weak but oh so loud in your ears.</p>
<p>“Please…” </p>
<p>You could hear her sniffling from beside you, her presence like a heavy block of electricity where she stood at your bedside. You felt a very faded part of you stir.</p>
<p>“I…I’m sorry, I need your help…” </p>
<p>
  <em>Go away…please…</em>
</p>
<p>“I have no one else to turn to.” She gasped with a thick warble in her voice.  “I’m alone…”</p>
<p>Silence made the atmosphere poignant, her begging growing in volume even as it came out weaker.</p>
<p>“I need you…”</p>
<p>Despite everything, you felt your heart give a forceful skip, a surge of protective instinct somehow kindling and burning at the desperation in her tone.</p>
<p>And you knew it had to be about Sans. What other reason would she come to you, and not the goat monster that helped raise her, if not concerning the beast you both so sickeningly loved? Of course she couldn’t go to Toriel, Toriel and Sans were best friends. Toriel would dust him if she ever found out.</p>
<p>And Frisk sounded so small…so young. She was still in so many ways a child who needed someone to watch out for her. And what kind of person were you if you didn’t at least listen to what she had to say, to what she needed?</p>
<p>…A person like Sans?</p>
<p>
  <strike>
    <strong>You weren’t that broken.</strong>
  </strike>
</p>
<p>It felt like a colossal effort to open your eyes, a challenge to turn over the two inches you needed to look at her properly through your blurry orbs. Soon as your vision locked with hers you felt yourself go still. She was suppressing sobs, holding back whimpers as she shook behind trembling fingers, and her frame was so tiny it was almost as if she could’ve been nothing more than ten as she hunched in on herself and quivered.</p>
<p>She looked ready to break just as you had…</p>
<p>Ready to simply give up…</p>
<p>You could picture her just like you; a shattered and numbed doll whose strings had been cut, helpless except to accept Sans’s touching and muttering apologies even as he kissed her, just as he did you. She could so easily fall lower than you, she had been through this far longer and you knew, if she collapsed now, there would be no helping her. </p>
<p>Frisk was just a kid…</p>
<p>Something hot with defiance sparked in your being, a voice long silent and barely an echo calling out to you that couldn’t be ignored or drowned in your misery.</p>
<p>Move, you had to do something, anything!</p>
<p>You opened your mouth to speak but no sound came out. You had to swallow a few times, force saliva to gather and work its way down your throat before your voice finally worked in a guttural rasp from misuse. “Frisk?” </p>
<p>Her head shot up and her eyes widened. Guilt, there was so much guilt in her eyes, and fear. It made the feeling that had come alive inside you turn searing in reaction. </p>
<p>You forced yourself up, nearly collapsed back onto the bed twice in exhaustion and dizziness before finally making it to a sitting position.  Hope sparked to life in her eyes, as if you’d just moved mountains on will alone. Why did it…suddenly hurt so much to see that from her?</p>
<p>Frisk ignorant to your confliction wasted no time in falling on the bed beside you, her thin arms wrapping around your shockingly thinner waist so tightly you froze.</p>
<p>“You’re the only one who understands! I’m sorry, so sorry y/n! Please!” </p>
<p>
  <em>Sorry</em>
</p>
<p>You wanted to recoil, fall back into the comatose you’d just struggled to free yourself from. Instead you shakily put an arm around her and ran your fingers through her hair, and tried not to think about how the gesture was Sans’s as you spoke more torn and hollowed words.</p>
<p>“Frisk, shh, I’m here. Calm down, I’m right here.” Her sobbing only got worse. The dark part of you flared in annoyance, still angry and betrayed by her actions while the sane part, the part you wanted so badly to be who you truly were, shook with sympathy and let out a breath of concern.</p>
<p>“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” Her sobs were the only noise that filled your room and the whole time you waited for her response you only continued to hold her and pet her hair. It was a blessing how numb you still were, as it kept your anxiety from building the longer her cries went on until they eventually started to peter out.</p>
<p>Silence again.</p>
<p>And then in a voice so meek you were afraid she might shatter like glass she said, “I’m pregnant.”  </p>
<p>You tensed as a sharp ringing flooded your ears, the tips of your fingers and toes going instantly numb as icy cold adrenaline shot down your spine and into your chest where it coiled and rotted like a dying flower. Very carefully, so you could hide just how much you shook, you stopped stroking her auburn locks and slowly looked down at Frisk. </p>
<p>Your gaze was penetrating.</p>
<p>Was she kidding, playing a prank of all things? But all you could see was a stone cold serious expression beneath tear stained cheeks. </p>
<p>You felt your throat close up and your jaw strained as you forced the words out with surprising clarity of tone that your frayed nerves provided.</p>
<p>“How is that possible?” It shouldn’t have been possible right? Humans and monsters were incompatible that way. At least that was what had been assumed. What Sans and everyone had told you countless times over the length of time you’d known them.</p>
<p>Frisk shook and you found yourself pulling her closer on instinct.</p>
<p>“How do you <em>think</em> it happened?” She whimpered. </p>
<p>Your heart sped up and you stared at the wall as your mind began to race. You’d be lying if you didn’t admit a part of you was jealous, a baby?  That was something that should’ve been for Sans and <em>you</em>. Between two consenting and willing adults that knew what they were getting into. </p>
<p>This was yet another tally on Sans’s growing list of betrayals.</p>
<p>In a moment of weakness, you absolutely hated Frisk. She was the foulest creature to walk the planet, a siren that stole any happiness to be had from others only to keep it to herself. A child with all the cunning of an adult who plotted and stole. But despite how you felt, you could only hear the cry for help in her tone, feel it in her body language. You could even sense it with the way she curled further into you and trembled. It made it easier to push the tainted thoughts away, though…it did nothing to ease the horrified bile that had gathered on the back of your tongue at what had just ran through your head.</p>
<p>You took a deep breath. It was smart of her to come to you for this. Sans had been torn between the both of you that when he’d snapped he’d looked absolutely mad, crazed and out of his mind awash in his own rancor and begging for absolution from anyone willing to give it in this fucked up love triangle. </p>
<p>A kid—</p>
<p>From his <em>own</em> kid?</p>
<p>You didn’t want to know what Sans would do if he <em>knew</em>.</p>
<p>…Frisk was pregnant…</p>
<p>God, Frisk was pregnant.</p>
<p>You tentatively framed the sides of her face, making sure to keep your voice calm as you spoke hesitantly. The immediate solution you thought of and leaned towards coming out in your words. “We’ll take care of this.” </p>
<p>She pulled back, a look of disbelief flashing across her face as she gauged your meaning with barely a blink.</p>
<p>“Take care of it? I…I want this kid, I’m having it!” </p>
<p>You flinched but kept your focus. It was normal for someone as young as she was to think she wanted something like this. A piece of herself shared with another she loved.</p>
<p>But she didn’t know better.</p>
<p>
  <strike>You didn’t want her too.</strike>
</p>
<p>“Frisk, sweetheart you’re only 16.” Tears of frustration sprung to her eyes again as she glared at you defiantly.</p>
<p>“I don’t care this is….my child—Sans’s child!” You heard the doubt behind her conviction plain as day, and it <em>hurt</em>. “Even if this wasn’t planned—he didn’t mean to—I…love him…”</p>
<p>There was a bond between you, perhaps just as strong as the fucked up bond you both shared with Sans, and it wouldn’t allow you to let Frisk lie to herself; to let her suffer. You may have both been competition to the same sick love for a depraved freak, but you were also companions in it. And right now she needed someone to care and who understood, to tell her what needed to be said without fear of fallout or repercussions. </p>
<p>She couldn’t even go to the one she called Mother. If she truly hadn’t cared about the possibility Sans would’ve been punished for this it wouldn’t have been your place that she’d snuck over to in the dead of night. She wouldn’t have risked Sans’s anger otherwise, he’d made it a point to keep the both of you away from each other, whether or not if that was truly for your sake you still didn’t know. </p>
<p>She needed <em>you</em>.</p>
<p>“Trust me Frisk, you do <em>not</em> want a child. Not <strong>now</strong>.” You pleaded as you pulled her tighter into your embrace. At first Frisk struggled. But then she started to whimper and then quickly slipped into loud sobbing. </p>
<p>You gently rubbed her back. “I know you love him, believe me I <em>know</em>. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through with this.” </p>
<p>You felt her body shudder as she continued to shout and hiccup. “I-I’ll lose him…He’s my best friend and I—!” </p>
<p>She choked. </p>
<p>You subconsciously squeezed her a little tighter. It sickened you that she was worried about losing his friendship of all things. What they did, what they were to each other, was beyond what friendships were typically meant to be. She really had no idea what <em>healthy</em> relationships looked like. Frisk didn’t know what options she even had for defining those boundaries.</p>
<p>…So inexperienced…</p>
<p>
  <strike>How did you lose to this child?</strike>
</p>
<p>“You couldn’t lose him even if you tried.” You chuckled numbly, hoping some reassurance came through your tone even as you winced. You let Frisk cry as you both held each other, your mind turning as a scowl curved your lips.</p>
<p>“Frisk, can you tell me more…about Resets?” Her sobbing cut off abruptly and carefully she pulled back, blinking through her tears up at you in confusion. </p>
<p>“I-if I reset we’ll go back underground—“ You shook you head.</p>
<p>“I just need to know…why they happen. How do you get them to happen baby girl?” Frisk looked unsure, unable to decide if it was alright to confide in you or not. You took a breath as you slowly rubbed her arms, the gesture thankfully making her tension ease.</p>
<p>“Sans told me a lot about them, but not how they work really.” Frisk still hesitated.</p>
<p>“Please?” You prompted. </p>
<p>“…My determination…and—” </p>
<p>You carefully listened as Frisk explained it, your racing thoughts slowing as they began to steadily come together with the new found knowledge you were learning. And as she spoke in fear laced whispers and with wide trusting eyes you resolved yourself. </p>
<p>Sans had drawn the final straw by impregnating Frisk.</p>
<p>And you were tired; tired of being a side character in this game between the both of them, of not being the one he chose every time, of watching Frisk hurt over and over again. They were bad for each other, you all were.</p>
<p>When Frisk finally finished you stared at the ground and slowly looked up at her. Carefully you thought about it and when you spoke it was guarded. </p>
<p>“Can I see your soul?” With the way she cringed and shrunk in on herself you stiffened. You didn’t even need to ask to know what had provoked that reaction. You didn’t want to hear the answer, didn’t want to know another lost moment you’d never have with Sans.</p>
<p>But still you did anyway. “He’s touched your soul before hasn’t he?” </p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>You shut your eyes and had to bite your tongue not to let out a scream. Instead you pulled her into another hug and pressed your lips to the top of her head reassuringly even as a soul deep wail resounded unwanted through your being. With a thick swallow and a quick run of your tongue against dry lips you asked her something.</p>
<p>“Do you…think Sans can be saved?”  She locked up in your hold, but you didn’t acknowledge it. “Do you think you can be too?” </p>
<p>She was quiet, deathly still. “I…gave up a long time ago.”</p>
<p>Then you realized something...</p>
<p>“I’m going to fix everything Frisk, I promise.” </p>
<p>You hadn’t.</p>
<p>~~</p>
<p>The sound of his ringtone annoyed him. </p>
<p>Sans screwed his sockets tighter as he turned over to his front, but immediately stopped as he became conscious enough to recognize the ringtone currently playing from his nightstand. In disbelief he blinked and sat up halfway, his sockets going wide as his phone vibrated and danced to the tune of ‘Pretty Woman’. Originally he’d set that as your personal ringtone as a joke but now…it was like a blessing.</p>
<p>Fumbling he reached over and slammed the phone against his skull, before remembering he had to press the answer key and trying again. “y-y/n?” </p>
<p>There was a long pause in which he considered if he’d been imagining the whole thing before your voice came through.</p>
<p>“Sans…” </p>
<p>His soul nearly exploded. You were speaking, and your tone sounded so distant and rough, but you were <em>speaking</em>.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath he couldn’t help the relieved smile on his face, “hey…is everything okay?”</p>
<p>What a stupid thing to ask.</p>
<p>“…Yeah, everything’s fine.” Sans wanted nothing more than to believe that so he willfully did. 

</p>
<p>“Listen…I was hoping you could come over, I…want to see you. Talk to you.” He glanced over at his clock and frowned at how late it was, before he realized he was being stupid again. What did it matter what time it was? He didn’t even have work in the morning.</p>
<p>Sans shifted and pushed to his feet. “’k on my way.”</p>
<p>“Alright…Sans?” He paused at how soft your voice went with his slippers halfway on his feet. You sounded as if you were pleading almost. Why did it send a cold shiver down his spine? Make him almost tempted to crawl back into bed in order to avoid whatever it was now threatening to pull the wind from his sails. God, he hadn’t heard you beg in ages though…he was so disgustingly hard.</p>
<p>He guiltily cleared his throat. “…yeah?”</p>
<p>“…I love you…” </p>
<p>Sans grinned like a love sick teenager. It felt so good to hear you speaking to him again. “i love you too y/n.”</p>
<p>A soft chuckle was all you gave him but it was enough right before you hung up. He hadn’t expected how it made him feel to hear you say that to him, to say it back in response. In a daze he finished getting dressed and was out his door and down the hall with barely a thought.</p>
<p>Halfway to the stairs however Sans paused, his sockets narrowing as his eyelights panned over to Frisk’s closed door. </p>
<p>One glance was enough to tell him she was likely asleep, nothing but darkness showing beneath the door frame. He couldn’t even see the faint light of her phone she so often used when hiding beneath her blanket when she was pretending to be in bed.</p>
<p>His kid was so cute sometimes.</p>
<p>But still he wondered if he should go in to tell her of where he was going. Maybe reassure her he’d be back and wouldn’t be gone long. After all Frisk had shown she had abandonment issues with how this take on their relationship had started, something he’d done nothing to help with, and he didn’t want to add to her issues more than he already had. The last thing Sans wanted was to add to anyone’s suffering, especially hers—</p>
<p>His hand paused a few centimeters from the door handle.</p>
<p>…You had called him.</p>
<p>Actually broken from the stupor his actions had plunged you into and used that surprising strength to reach out when he’d been the last person he’d expected for you to do so with, and here he was thinking of Frisk. About to take the time to crawl into her bed and—</p>
<p>Sans realized with revulsion he hadn’t gone to see you once without fucking Frisk first, not since he gave in and did the unforgivable deed. Had you been able to tell?</p>
<p>…What was he doing? No wonder you had become such a shadow of your former self, so dead inside.</p>
<p>His hand curled into a fist and he shakily turned away. He’d wronged you every step of the way just as he had his precious sweetheart. Only where there had once been hope he could’ve been good for Frisk…</p>
<p>If he was honest…</p>
<p>That same thought hadn’t applied to you; you were screwed from the start. The first time he’d ever seen you, how closely you resembled the smaller girl, you had been locked in his soul and mind. You had been a loophole for his personal demons and greedy desires. It wasn’t fair just how little of a chance you hadn’t even had to escape his filth. </p>
<p>It wasn’t fair just how long it took him to see you for the person that you actually <em>were</em>. The least he could do was not spoil this chance you’d given him by showing up reeking of his sins and forbidden lusts. The least he could do was be kind to you.</p>
<p>…Because he loved you…</p>
<p>Sans’s foot was heavy as he took his first step down the stairs, and it became shockingly easier with each one after it to not to peer back over his shoulder towards Frisk.</p>
<p>~~</p>
<p>You thought you’d panic as you heard your door open, thought you’d feel a flash of apprehension or fear, but instead you were calm. </p>
<p>You were disturbingly peaceful.</p>
<p>“y/n?” His voice sent a shiver through you but all you did was simply set aside the pillow you’d been holding. Your heart picked up an excited beat that you tried not to look too closely at.</p>
<p>“In here Sans.” </p>
<p>You turned just as he entered the kitchen entrance and you felt a knot form in your stomach.</p>
<p>He looked so happy to see you. His eyelights had blown wide with surprise, as if he couldn’t believe you were actually up and walking around, and his grin curved higher in that comical way you found dopy and adorable. Sans even had what looked to be a light blush staining his bones. You didn’t know how to react. It was like a blow that shattered your eerie calm, and a flood of guilt threatened to set in the longer you both stared at each other.</p>
<p>He hadn’t looked this happy in what felt like years.</p>
<p>However his expression began to crumble, whether if it was from how your own face looked or from the prolonged silence between you it was hard to tell as worry started to crease his skeletal brows. “are you alright?”</p>
<p>Your mouth suddenly went dry and unable to take another second you stepped out of the way.</p>
<p>Sans’s eyelights shrunk slightly with confusion but then instantly turned to needle thin pinpricks as visible sweat broke out across his skull. He didn’t even look at you as he took an uneasy and trembling step forward.</p>
<p>“frisky?” She was sitting in a chair primly, her hands folded and a weak smile on her face. Frisk looked as if she was sleeping.</p>
<p>Sans knew better as he started to stumble over to her.</p>
<p>You forced yourself to watch as he numbly fell to his knees before where she sat, her head bowing forward as he reached for her. His hands begun to roam hers, his phalanges kneading them, as if he could rub the life back into the quickly cooling flesh. </p>
<p>Sans looked so broken and shocked it tore at you. You thought you could handle this. He and Frisk had both told you before he had killed her multiple times over, but it was so hard to hold onto that fact with the way he looked trying not to vomit magic all over your floor.</p>
<p>“what happened?”</p>
<p>You focused on Frisk’s hollow smile as you answered.</p>
<p>“I suffocated her.” </p>
<p>Sans stiffened and locked into place as his eyelights went out, leaving his sockets pockets of pure darkness. You could see the wheel in his head turning. The thoughts all clashing and fighting with one another as his mouth shifted in a display of his emotions. </p>
<p>At first rage, such deep rage.</p>
<p>Then denial.</p>
<p>Sadness.</p>
<p>And finally…self-blame. </p>
<p>His head bowed as he hiccupped and pressed his skull to her knees for a fraction of a second before raising again, his eyelights flickering and wobbling around the edges as he sucked in a harsh gasp of air. Sans stared at her limp body horrified as he ever so slowly pulled it into his hold, letting out a gut wrenching wail as one of Frisk’s hands slapped against the floor lifelessly. </p>
<p>You closed your eyes, trying to block out the sight of it.</p>
<p>“you…<em>killed my kid</em>?” Sans questioned as if he couldn’t comprehend it, couldn’t believe the sight of what was once the love of his life dead in his arms. Thick tears of cyan begun to fall and hit Frisk’s pale cheeks.</p>
<p>It made you wonder, if he had trusted you so much so to the point he’d believed Frisk was safe in your care, had thought you so in love with him that you’d never dare lash out in such a way that would hurt him this much. The same hope and trust you had once so foolishly placed in him.</p>
<p>“Kill me Sans.” You whispered. </p>
<p>His head shot up as he looked at you incredulously, his barely sustained whimpers tearing into your soul as the tears continued to run down his face and he slowly gave you a look of soul deep grief.</p>
<p>“why…?” You stared at him, a cold expression carefully concealing your own hurt.  </p>
<p>Sans looked from you down to Frisk’s corpse, pulling it closer to him as he pressed his sockets tightly shut and into the dead girl’s forehead. His body began to shake so violently you could hear his bones click together in a sorrow filled rattle. His breathing picked up and you could tell he was fighting with himself on what to do.</p>
<p>Why did he act as if this was the first time she’d ever died? Why was he not <em>doing</em> anything?</p>
<p>You were honestly shocked.</p>
<p>“Sans,” He cracked open a socket, the eyelight of it staring at the far wall. “I killed your <em>child</em>.” You strained on your words as nausea twisted your insides. You became increasingly more worried the longer he hesitated on striking you down.</p>
<p>“i...frisk—she’ll…” Sans couldn’t think coherently, he didn’t want to be alone.</p>
<p>You steeled yourself and let the rage you felt slowly building in you take over. Where was his sense of justice? His soul deep despair at the fact you had taken the life of the girl he’d helped raise, loved? Where was the good that you hoped still to exist somewhere deep down beneath his taint and darkness? What was any of this for if that didn’t exist? Sans was capable of many things, had done most if not all of them, but this…your breathing turned shallow under your rising horror and disgust.</p>
<p>“she…wasn’t…she…” You saw him trying to rationalize, groping at straws to keep himself from rebelling and lashing out. You saw him trying to <em>excuse you</em>.</p>
<p>And it made you fucking sick. </p>
<p>“She was pregnant Sans.” He didn’t respond, only clutched Frisk’s limp form closer to him as he began to mutter nonsensically to himself. That didn’t faze him? It scared you. He…he couldn’t be this broken…this fucked up.</p>
<p>Tears began to run down your face. “Sans!” </p>
<p>His eyelights were out, pointless apologies falling from him as magical tears ran sticky blue trails down his skull. You were a murderer, this wasn’t okay, you had taken Frisk’s life and all he was doing was trying to make delusional reasonings and blind deductions. </p>
<p>You fell to your knees and reached passed Frisk to grip his hoodie, forced him to look away from her and up into your face. The good, his soul, something had to be in there! Anything! You reached into the depths of your hatred, your love, to yell at the top of your lungs as you shook him. “I KILLED YOUR KID SANS! I TOOK HER AWAY FROM YOU; YOUR ANGEL OF MERCY IS DEAD!” </p>
<p>You felt him still, his voice cutting off abruptly. </p>
<p>Finally you felt him looking at you, truly seeing you and it was the inch you needed from him. His rage and bitterness was what you needed to prove to yourself he was <em>still</em> redeemable. That he was still capable of caring for someone other than himself. </p>
<p>Your voice went low and you forcibly calmed yourself under his steadily growing judgmental gaze. The words were too easy to say, too heavy with a dark truth that made you hate yourself. But it was still something you gladly said as you let the pure honesty of your statement shine through your eyes to the point he wouldn’t be able to deny its existence.</p>
<p>“And I enjoyed it.” </p>
<p>He finally snapped.</p>
<p>You barely registered the fact you were flying through the air before you slammed painfully into the wall with a sickening pop, an intense burn and stab of pain shooting through your spine like hot lead as it arched against suddenly broken drywall. You gagged and hacked as you tried to breathe. </p>
<p>Sans slowly laid Frisk down onto the carpet, his demeanor frighteningly numb as he brushed the hair from her forehead to tuck it behind an ear before standing. You watched him as he looked down at Frisk’s body quietly, his magic still pinning you into the new crater you had made upon impact.</p>
<p>His question was more solid and more demanding. “…why?” </p>
<p>You didn’t speak instead you silently panted through the smoldering haze of pain as he finally faced you. </p>
<p>It was a look of complete and utter betrayal. </p>
<p>Tears streamed freely from his blackened sockets like waterfalls from abysmal caverns, and his mouth was closed tight in a firm line. A sharp blue and yellow flashing eyelight sprung to life in his left socket as a blast of blue magic surged from him to engulf the room. Standing there tense with hostility and with his clothing billowing demonically around him you felt your very being quiver. </p>
<p>This was no longer Sans; but the judge of the underground Frisk had told you about. He was nothing like she had described, but worse. In this moment you were glad just as much as you were frightened. Because the simple fact he reacted as he had was enough to reassure you, there was still hope. Frisk’s sacrifice wouldn’t be for nothing.</p>
<p>Your pain wouldn’t be pointless.</p>
<p>“why did you do it?” Sans’s voice had gone to a snarl, his tone an echo. </p>
<p><em>You hated how it excited as much as it terrified you to hear it</em>. </p>
<p>“Why did you fuck her?” You retaliated numbly, your own tears starting to run. You were about to die anyway, you might as well ask right? Ask everything that had bothered you, eaten you alive. Question every single thing that had led to this exact moment like a cruel and unjust joke orchestrated by fate. “Why wasn’t I <em>good enough</em>?” </p>
<p>Sans’s glare weakened for but a moment, a glimpse of something you couldn’t catch, before going cold. “because you would never understand like she did…no matter how hard you could’ve tried.” </p>
<p>There it was. The deep fear you had carried like a burden declared and realized as truth.</p>
<p>You closed your eyes.</p>
<p>“Love just isn’t enough is it?” You whispered. You heard the methodical and slow steps of his approach, not daring to open your eyes again till he was close enough you could hear him breathing and could feel his magical force brushing against you like the breath of a riled demon. And wasn’t that what he was? A demon that had taken and used you? Used Frisk?</p>
<p>He looked…so sad when you finally found the strength to face him. </p>
<p>Sans brought up his hand to brush away your tears, his thumb dangerously soft and gentle as it rubbed almost <em>lovingly</em>  against you. You knew better though, it wasn’t a touch out of love but his own regret.</p>
<p>“i loved you…despite our circumstances i…really did.” He croaked. “<em>you</em> tell <em>me</em> if it was enough.” </p>
<p>You glanced over to Frisk’s peaceful looking face, his gaze following yours. </p>
<p>You both stared at the dead girl silently. </p>
<p>Sans took a breath. “obviously not.” </p>
<p>The pain was quick and instant. A bone shot up from behind you, piercing excruciatingly through your back to erupt in a spray of crimson from your chest. You felt more than heard yourself scream as your hearing turned into a sharp and drowning ring.</p>
<p>He’d missed your heart by mere inches.</p>
<p>Sans chuckled and his eyelights brightened inhumanly with malefic pleasure, and you felt your insides twist as you realized he was going to draw this out. You’d almost forgotten in your remorse that you and Frisk had both fallen for a sadist.</p>
<p>“you <em>enjoyed</em> killing her? you can bet i’m going to have some fun of my own, i <em>promise</em> you that.” He snatched your chin, forcing your face up to his gaze. For the first time you felt nothing but paralyzing fear at his touch. Not even the vague recollection of his gentleness and pleasured movements could help temper the overwhelming anxiety that now built up within you.</p>
<p>How you could see such darkness while staring into such pure light saddened you. It made it harder to believe he’d ever truly loved you.</p>
<p>“how about one last screw for old times sake?” He growled lustfully, the firmness of his magic beneath his straining shorts pushing against you as he brutally slammed his hard mouth to yours, a sharp pinch and throbbing numbness signaling that he had split one of your lips. He swallowed your whimper as he pulled back and made a show of greedily licking your blood from his mandible.</p>
<p>You felt bile rise to the back of your throat. Of course this would turn him on. How often had you played willing masochist to him?</p>
<p>“<em>i love you</em>.” He groaned hatefully. You smiled ruefully, because no matter that you were currently at his nonexistent mercy or how much hatred and anger he directed at you, still your heart leapt with a twisted glee. Even as he threatened to rape and break you, still your heart longed for him.</p>
<p>You never should’ve met him.</p>
<p>You were happy you did.</p>
<p>Delicious and torturous confliction in one.</p>
<p>The words were once more said with nothing but truth, even as his felt hollow and rancid. “I love you too.” </p>
<p>He growled in amusement as he pulled you forward and slammed you by your throat onto the ground, knocking what air you had from your lungs as your vision doubled. Your head painfully whipping onto the floor with a loud smack that left your ears dulling. A strangled groan of pain earned a contemptuous moan from him.</p>
<p>“did that hurt?” Sans murmured with false concern. “not enough apparently.”</p>
<p>And all you could do was hear Frisk’s words, her fears and thoughts as she’d spilled them to you. You clung to them with all the will you had left as he ripped the clothes from your body.</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s the LV</em>
</p>
<p>He drew blood down your side with his bare phalanges that left you seeing red.</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s the resets</em>
</p>
<p>Sans nastily licked the wounds, nipped at the frayed and quickly bruising skin as he squeezed your throat and cut off your air.</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s the trauma</em>
</p>
<p>His hands gripped your hips hard enough you felt them nearly shatter in a sickening convulsion.</p>
<p>
  <em>He can be good, he can be</em>
</p>
<p>You silently repeated every single word Frisk had uttered like a mantra and cried out as your skin broke into a cold sweat, your body trying to go into shock under his abuse…</p>
<p>Longer, you could do this, what he was doing was nothing compared to what he’d already done! Nothing compared to the little girl’s suffering that you had killed. Nothing to what you’d endured from his own selfishness and greed as he took you over and over again and broke you into a thousand pieces.</p>
<p>This wasn’t Sans.</p>
<p>Not who he <em>could</em> be.</p>
<p>You were stronger than whatever this <em>thing</em> was.</p>
<p>You were just as strong as Frisk, just as stubborn, and damn him for ever making you think otherwise.</p>
<p>Your chest turned into an undying flame of rebellion as you clung to everything and anything to block out what he was doing to you. Tried not to think about how your body was already trying to fail you and give into oblivion.</p>
<p>But he wasn’t having it.</p>
<p>“trying to give out on me already? you’re even more fragile <em>than frisk was</em>.” Sans spat with annoyance as he shoved your numb legs apart and dug into the skin of your thighs as he tugged you onto him in one harsh and uneven jerk. His words hurt worse than the burning of his cock as he ruthlessly shoved it into you. Your sore back arched as a sharp wail was pulled from your lungs and he let out a groan that was so euphoric in its cadence it made you question if any noises he’d ever made before with you were the slightest bit true.</p>
<p>“fuck—i hate how good you still feel—“ He spat as he pulled out and slammed back in cruelly. </p>
<p>Already you could feel your heart racing, its beat going feral under his familiar indifference and desperation. The pleasure only heightening as his phalanges painfully dug into you and pulled uncaringly at your hair. You liked it, wanted it even as you fought to repress the urge to buck against him.</p>
<p>How fucked up were you because of him? How much had been messed up with you already to have fallen in the first place?</p>
<p>You couldn’t help the natural response to clutch at his coat as he rode you, his sockets wide and watchful with a bitter resentment that was laced with dark approval at the gesture. You let out a gasp as he leaned down and griped your wrist between his teeth, bit with such force your hand went numb and released him.</p>
<p>His sneer was a loathing smirk.</p>
<p>“<em>this</em> is what you needed? all this time playing dead and it took this to get you moving—“ You saw stars as he suddenly and violently struck you hard enough your jaw clicked. Your body reacting with a tenseness that squeezed him in the best of ways as he caught your chin to face him.</p>
<p>“you’re not her and will never <em>be</em> her. but damn if you’re not perfect for me, both of us so pathetic and fucked.” Tears fell from your eyes and there was only a moment’s hesitance in his eyelights before it was quickly devoured by his continued anger.</p>
<p>“i can give you a reason to cry.” His hand moved low, “if you need it.” and the tips of his phalanges dug and pushed into the skin and muscle of your thigh.</p>
<p>Everything you were, dark and light, mixed into one and cried out, Endure!</p>
<p>For Frisk…</p>
<p>For Yourself…</p>
<p>…For Sans…</p>
<p>You bit back your cry of agony as Sans priced clean through your left leg, nerves snapping in tiny bursts of acidic pain, skin and muscle tearing in searing bolts of liquid lava. There was no pleasure to be had; it even smothered what little you <em>had</em> felt. You gasped and choked as Sans let out a manic laugh, his eyelights focused on his phalanges as he withdrew them and rubbed the blood that coated them with sick admiration.</p>
<p>“i always thought you were beautiful…<em>inside and out</em>.” He practically cooed as he resumed thrusting. And finally something gave inside you; a wall, so worn and chipped, practically made of dust rather than stone, came down as your eyes shot wide. </p>
<p>Every kiss, silent confession, timid gesture built up and just…finally healed you.</p>
<p>Sans wasn’t expecting it.</p>
<p>Your legs, weak and bleeding hooked around his hips. Your hands snapped forward to clutch at his coat and the fire he had ignited in you gave you the strength to swing him sideways into a roll, only stopping once he was the one on the floor and you atop him. He looked livid, mouth opening in a snarl, but then you were moving, your hips rolling and your body gliding up and down on his length with such furious motion Sans choked on the words he’d been prepared to say. </p>
<p>The white of his eyelights expanded and his hands instinctively shot up to grip your thighs, age old memory and rhythm between you guiding him as he gasped. You stared down at him as the fight in him tempered and the greed, the dark twisted greed that you’d so often helped to feed roared to life as he practically melted beneath you. His own thoughts and convictions feebly crumbling beneath a wave of lust.</p>
<p>You loved it, god you loved it so much.</p>
<p>“How…how can you still be so fucking beautiful?” You asked breathlessly, his gaze going unexpectedly vulnerable as you let out a harsh breath. “How can I still want you!?”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I’m a creep…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>This murderous and fucked up monster , this rapist and abuser, everything wrong and messed up in the world combined into one pathetic creature writhing beneath you was such a precious sight to you it moved you to bitter tears.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I’m a weirdo…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>Sans…Sans was conflicted and didn’t know how to react, you had never been this aggressive and dominating, no one had ever taken over and used him like it was the end of the world. And you praised him even with hate in your eyes. He was disgusted because you were his kid’s murderer, his precious Frisk’s executioner.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>What the hell am I doing here?</em>
  </p>
</div><p>But he was so blissed out, utterly moved and beginning to whimper at just how good you felt. How you could show such passion after everything he’d just said and done to you, show a side he’d never once witnessed in you he couldn’t understand.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I <strike>don’t</strike> belong here…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>So new, so gorgeously ugly.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I don’t care if it hurts…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>He’d never felt more wanted…more devastated.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I wanna have control…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“H-how does this feel Sans?” He groaned and shook, gave a full bodied quiver that you felt vibrate through you and irritate the wounds he’d inflicted. Instead of hindering you, the pain, so raw and still so fresh only kept you determinedly moving.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I want a perfect body</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“Does it hurt? Does it eat you alive to know you’re loving this despite what I’ve done?” You gasped from sore and stinging lungs as you leaned forward, your eyes locking with his as equal lust and loathing reflected back at you like a mirror.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I want a perfect soul</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“y-y/n—“ The growl of your name made you chuckle apathetically, your pace picking up and going brutal just as he had done. The cry he let out was shrill, damningly weak.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> I want you to notice—</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“This is how it felt—when you broke us!” Cyan tears beaded in the corners of his sockets anew, but you knew no mercy, not this time. And you couldn’t help but wonder…</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>When I’m not around</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“Every thrust—“…if he saw his same fucked up darkness in you…</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>You’re so fuckin’ special</em>
  </p>
</div><p>…if that’s what made him love you.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>I wish I was special</strong>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p>You slammed down on him painfully, the sickening sound of his bones slamming into the floor forcing you to inwardly cringe as his eyelights flickered and nearly went out, his hands only clutching at you more desperately.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>But I’m a creep!</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“Every kiss—“</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I’m a weirdo!</em>
  </p>
</div><p>You gripped a rib through his coat and he arched into it even as he shook from horror and guilt, his pleasure still loud and echoing as he struggled to meet your rapid movements. Sans was shuddering, bordering on the brink and still you continued.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>What the hell <strong>am I</strong> doing here?</em>
  </p>
</div><p>It spoke volumes…</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I <strike>don’t</strike> belong here, oh, oh…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>That the only time he was actually <em>listening</em> was when he was the one powerless.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>She’s running out the door</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“You broke us Sans…” Your tone was hollow and sad, betraying in it’s breathlessness. “The only two people who loved you with everything we had and you <em>broke</em> us!” His hands drew fresh blood in their grip.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>She’s running out—</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“Broke her!” He moaned sickeningly and cried out.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>She run, run ,run—</em>
  </p>
</div><p>You nearly snapped his rib and instead he thrusted harshly up into you. “Broke <em>me</em>!”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>RUN</strong>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p>You bit into his clavicle and his hands moved, cupping your ass and digging into the sensitive flesh instead of going where they should’ve, instead of wrapping around you in a hug begging for forgiveness and pleading for understanding, trying to hold you close. Even in his carnality he couldn’t be thoughtful of anyone but himself.</p>
<p>Sans wanted to say something, anything, you could see it in how haunted he looked as you pulled back but you didn’t let him. You couldn’t even feel your knees anymore with how fast you rode him, his rapid breaths turned to strangled grunts and before you knew it he was jerking. Hot magic filled you, and the feeling it once gave that used to make you so giddy and happy only made you angry and shout with contempt. You didn’t stop even as you felt his magic trying to dissolve, your hands moving to the spots you had once spent such delicate time memorizing to rile him back up.</p>
<p>Sans actually started to beg, “n-no wait—!”</p>
<p>A caress of his vertebra, in that feather light tease he used to praise you for, a powerful clench of your legs against his lilac crests that almost always had drawn a growl from him, and a sharp whine from your throat that never failed to arouse him had his magic once more going solid. Sans was so blue with heated magic and slicked with sweat it satisfied as well as made you sick.</p>
<p>“How does it feel…to know that I <em>hate</em> you?” You whispered. Sans looked struck, completely shattered as the reality of his actions hit him. Your image flashing to a bruised and battered Frisk, her clothing in tatters and eyes hollow, reflected in the heat of your words and the press of your palms into his bones.</p>
<p>His fallen angels whose wings he’d plucked.</p>
<p>His kid…and his lover…both destroyed…</p>
<p>And you, you only felt bitterness and scorn as you felt him harden within you. You slammed your lips down on him and he met them with just as much vigor, the hostile tenseness behind the gesture battling with the soft desperation in how his tongue glided to meet yours, his hands switching between bruising and stroking as he pawed at you. It was as if there were two versions of yourselves that couldn’t decide who to let be in control.</p>
<p>Then it happened, Sans shocked you.</p>
<p>He pulled you as tightly against himself as he could and flipped you beneath him, but his arms stayed firmly around you like a band, his kiss turning slow and deep as he took over the control. You moaned and he broke the kiss to press against your throat, soft and gentle kisses and nips as his hands slowly moved up the arch of your back.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>Whatever makes you happy…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>Your body started to wind tight with building pleasure, what had been filled with cold detachment turned heated and hot as you felt your end drawing nearer and nearer. One of his hands snapped down and hooked under your thigh, his thumb rubbing encouragingly into it as his pace went languid and penetrating.</p>
<p>Your arms shot up and wound his shoulders, how could he?</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>Whatever you want…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>How could he torture you like this?</p>
<p>Sans’s movements were less hunger driven, more considerate as he angled in the way he knew always satisfied you. The sudden tenderness in his licks and kisses as he placed them over your chest and shoulders floored you. Tears and loud sobs were unwillingly pulled from your chapped lips. He pulled back and the look he gave you…didn’t feel like his.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>“<em>you’re so fuckin’ special…</em>”</p>
</div><p>Sans’s eyelights were bright and swollen, nothing but fathomless light drawing you in even with the dried magic staining his cheeks in opaque blue.</p>
<p>“i love you y/n…”</p>
<p>For the first time, you saw it, the undeniable conviction that allowed no question.</p>
<p>He meant it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I wish I was special…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>You stilled, felt your body lock up, but he only leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead as he ravished you. It was a blur, his hands coasting down your sides and hips so gently and with reverence, his sockets closing with savoring pleasure as he claimed your mouth again, and how he moaned into you as you felt your walls clench around him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>But I’m a creep~</strong>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p>He brought you to the edge, and pushed you violently off of it.</p>
<p>Instead of seeing white or darkness…your life flashed by in a morbid parade of frozen images. Your childhood; so full of both sad and fond memories, a carousel of ignorance and happiness. The teenage years; a roller coaster of both realizations and disappointments, of hopes and nightmares. All of it fairly normal and average…something cherished and so easily taken for granted. And then your adulthood; overcome with images of bony hands and wide smiles, of a child’s laughter and tears…turned into a fifty foot drop.</p>
<p>You blinked open your eyes to Sans holding you, an arm around your waist with the other stroking through your hair. You both didn’t move or say a word. You both let the silence of your surroundings and the aches of your bodies fill the space around and between you.</p>
<p>His hand stilled, and— “i’m so—“</p>
<p>“Don’t…” You stared into the blue of his coat, choosing to focus on the sound of his breathing and to feel the slight rise and fall of his ribs. His tone wasn’t harsh anymore, wasn’t scathing and resentful, but his words were just as final as they had been before.</p>
<p>“i…suppose it’s pointless for apologies…” </p>
<p>It wasn’t…</p>
<p>“all i ever do is fuck up…”</p>
<p>Because he never tried…</p>
<p>“…maybe in the next reset i can do better…”</p>
<p>…if he only believed that…</p>
<p>You already knew what was coming and so curled further into him as you braced yourself.</p>
<p>Sans hesitated, selfishly took the time to cup the back of your head as he kissed it, just as he had done for Frisk numerous times before, and held his breath as the bone shot through your ribs without warning. The pain was blinding, so overwhelming you couldn’t even scream. You relaxed as your body suddenly and unapologetically turned cold.</p>
<p>“T-there’s…something I want to…ask.” You coughed around blood as you fought to speak, a melancholic smile gracing your lips even as you felt the pain of one lung collapsing.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I <strike>don’t</strike> belong here…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>Sans raised a brow as he held you, a hand stroking your back in a mock display of comfort.</p>
<p>“Do you…know what my…soul looks like?” He stiffened against you, his sockets going wide in curiosity. “You…never looked at it…unlike Frisk’s.” </p>
<p>You felt his smile turn to a frown where it rested.</p>
<p>“Speaking of…noticed…yet?” You chuckled around a small gurgle of crimson liquid as your vision started to darken.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I <strike>don’t</strike>…belong here…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>Sans was confused.</p>
<p>Noticed? What hadn’t he noticed? His Frisky’s body on the floor? The lifeless shell of his sweetheart and child? How broken you were and yet still so full of love? The way you held so tightly to him in your final moments even as he was the one causing them? How morbidly satisfying that last thought was?</p>
<p>Why you’d bring up your soul trait now of all times—</p>
<p>He paused and subsequently paled. Sans’s sockets widened and he shot up as his mind raced, his expression going dumbstruck as the pieces slowly slid into place and his eyelights roaming you as if he’d just realized the gravity of the crime he’d committed. </p>
<p>You were both still here; the world was still the same as it was this morning.</p>
<p>There hadn’t been a reset. Not even a load. He’d been too caught up in his fury and depression to notice. Suddenly he was kneeling beside you and trying to stop the blood flow from your chest. If Frisk hadn’t loaded, come back to life—what would that mean for her, for you?! He’d be alone, permanently. If even alive…</p>
<p>Without either of the two that had loved him.</p>
<p>“it—it’s not possible—“ As much as he still burned with hatred and rage, felt as if he should still tear you apart piece by piece for his beloved Frisk with her pretty dimples and sharp wit, he still craved morning coffees and movie marathons with you, nights lost in your warmth and secluded from the world with love in your eyes. </p>
<p>“y-you’re not meant to have that power!” He’d lose what pathetic speck of sanity he still had if he was alone again. The fact that that thought was what raced through his mind only added to his agony. He was so selfish. Karma had finally come knocking and he only wanted to hide.</p>
<p>You could see his fear.</p>
<p>“You fucked the determination… out of her…”  His breathing was ragged as his phalanges became stained with more of your blood, the healing magic he was trying to summon failing him.</p>
<p>“And fucked it right into me…” A miserable sob came out muffled to your fading hearing.</p>
<p>“Seems you have a thing…for determined women…hope you’re…proud…” You gasped as your lungs slowly gave out. </p>
<p>Sans was frantic as he tried to speak to you and pulled you into a half cradle within his arms. “y-y/n please wait—i—i’m sorry please—we don’t know what’ll happen if you—“ </p>
<p>His voice full of concern and uncertainty got distant as you forced what little strength you had to place your hand against his cheek. “you could be erased from existence—y/n please don’t—”</p>
<p>He was crying again you thought vaguely.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>You’re…so fuckin’…special…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>Your smile stayed firmly in place.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>I…wish…I was special…</em>
  </p>
</div><p>“It’s…not as bad as what…I’ve already gone through…” You whispered.</p>
<p>
  <em>But I’m…a creep…</em>
</p>
<p>The world went dark.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>I don’t belong here</strong>
  </p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>…</p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>..</p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>.</p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>Whiteness</p>
</div><p>A crimson eyed child looked at you dully with Frisk offering a reassuring smile from beside them.</p>
<p>“Reset?”</p>
<p>Muffled cries drew your attention to a blackened space; it’s stature like that of a cell.</p>
<p>“frisk!? frisk!” You shut your eyes.</p>
<p>“…y/n?...”</p>
<p>You turned away.</p>
<p>“Reset.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Anyone else happy she updated like a feather this year?</p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3lF2qEA2cw">Song</a>.</p>
<p>One more to go.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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